Endless Beach Party
Him: WHAT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT THIS MINUTE
Me: Sourcing images
Him: Ooh, I want to play.
Me: You REALLY don't, trust me. It's making me want to die.
Him: Come on.
Me: Fine. Lifestyle campaign for a retirement community.
Me: Told you. Brief in a nutshell:
Me: Shiny, happy seniors (70-90) enjoying healthy lifestyle activities. Simple shit - exercising, eating, dancing, gardening, flying fucking kites with children of mixed races, etc. Mix of group images and single portraits. No beds/"assisted living" shots, no yoga, no driving.
Him: How about sculpting? But like "CHECK ME OUT I'M SCULPTING!"
Me: That could work, as long as it also communicates "MAN I AM SO GLAD MY KIDS DROPPED ME OFF HERE THREE MONTHS AGO AND HAVEN'T BEEN BACK SINCE, MORE TIME TO HANG OUT WITH YOU DUDES AND SCULPT!"
Him: The shot taken 30 seconds before the laughter turns to sobs, got it.
Me: PS, do yourself a favor and avoid the search term "Retirement Home Party", because it will hulksmash your soul.
Him: Wow, this is terrible.
Him: On the bright side, it looks like we have a lots of running on the beach in white linen to look forward to in 40 years.
Me: I know, right? Being old = endless beach party
Me: I think my favorite so far is one of an 80 year old couple in full hiking gear doing chearleader leaps off a giant redwood tree trunk. Plausible.
Him: Maybe fresh air makes you forget your bones are made of chalk.
Him: OH GOD. JUST SEARCHED "SENIOR SEXUALITY". ABORT.
Him: HELLO, GRANNY SO SASSY.
Me: I don't even want to know what you're looking at.
Me: It's all just so condescending. Tee hee, seniors doing sex stuff!
Me: I blame "Rapping Granny"
Me: You're still looking under that search term, aren't you.
Him: Do old ladies have vaginas?
Him: Never mind. Good job on ruining my life though.
Him: Goodbye FOREVER
Him: Text me later.