January 2011
176 posts
More of nothing.
Coworker: Dude. What are you listening to?
Coworker: Uptown Girl. You're listening to Uptown Girl.
Me: Isn't this great?
Coworker: NO. My god, why?
Me: A) Billy Joel is fucking great B) This song is about Christie Brinkley C) You just listened to Muse for like an hour, so eat a bag of dicks.
Coworker: Whatever
Coworker: OH MY GOD STOP CLAPPING ALONG
Me: Don't think I won't play the rest of An Innocent Man. That album rules.
Coworker: This is terrible. No wonder he drinks.
Coworker: Didn't his daughter try to kill herself with melatonin or something?
Coworker: Fuck, now I have to look this up. Look what you've done.
Coworker: "Joel ingested a quantity of Traumeel, a homeopathic alternative to ibuprofen. A NYU Medical Center toxicologist said the drug has "no active ingredient" and indicated that it was essentially impossible to overdose ("basically you'd be taking more of nothing")."
Coworker: AHAHAHAHAH.
Coworker: Billy Joel should write a song to his daughter called "Sorry About Your Face"
Me: Does sir desire another melody?
Coworker: PLEASE. This shit is killing me.
Coworker: ...If this is Genesis "Land of Confusion", I'm going to get you fired.
Coworker: What is wrong with you? What have I ever done to you?
Me: Mess with the Joel, get the Collins.
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